Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I cockslap morals
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
