ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
