apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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