I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
NoShamevember. You game?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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