none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
