TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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