Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
