yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
