Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
