Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
