i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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