is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
There are leaves in my underwear?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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