I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
