Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just pee around me
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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