i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
