Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
