after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
