have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
