WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
