Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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