my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
