That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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