hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
