hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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