You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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