You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Even my vagina gasped.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
