I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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