I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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