So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
