is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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