butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
