Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
