Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Houston, we have a squirter
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
