I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
