We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
