I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
