Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
