Buhtt sex?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
