I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm bleeding and have questions
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
