Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
