Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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