it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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