Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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