I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
