he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
