I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Randomize
