God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
