I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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