I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
