So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
