hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
