I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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