I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
